


i’m nothing but a problem, keep you crying overnight

by shr000m



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Dream is a bitch, Exiled TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Sad Toby Smith | Tubbo, Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Suicidal TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Suicide Attempt, Toby Smith | Tubbo Needs a Hug, protective techno go brrr, tommy nearly drowns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:07:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28488789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shr000m/pseuds/shr000m
Summary: He breathed out bubbles into the blue water.A calm death.He always thought he’d go out with a bang.Guess not.His lungs hurt.That was good, he reminded himself. That means it’s working.Everything hurt, hurt, hurt. There was pain, and he couldn’t breathe. He squeezed shut his eyes and waited.And then he was thrust up and he felt cool air burn into his face as he processed the fact that two strong arms had just lifted him out of the water and were holding him to their chest.“What,” said Technoblade, breathing heavily, “the
Comments: 20
Kudos: 674





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TW:  
> suicide  
> drowning  
> mentions of a panic attack
> 
> enjoy :)  
> -clay <33

Tommy stared into the sea.   
It was so beautiful. So dangerous.   
He could remember sailing across it for the first time, mind swirling with betrayal and terror.  
Now he was just... empty.  
Yeah, maybe lava would be easier.   
But it was right there, and he wouldn’t be interrupted. Of course, it would be easier to actually die in lava, but what if he got second thoughts while walking to the Nether?  
No.

Tommy stood up, legs shaking slightly, and began to walk forward as he watched the tide.  
Out, in, out, in, out, in.  
Like somebody breathing.   
He wondered if the sea would ever die. If the tide would stop and stay there, and if he would never hear the calming sounds of the waves again.  
He kept walking.   
The water was up to his chest now.  
He kept walking.  
Shoulders.  
Neck.  
Chin.  
Tommy breathed heavily, then plunged himself into the depths of the ocean, limbs flung outwards awkwardly as if he was floating in space.  
He could feel himself slowly running out of air.  
It wouldn’t be long now.  
He breathed out bubbles into the blue water.   
A calm death.  
He always thought he would go out with a bang.  
Guess not.   
His lungs hurt.  
That was good, he reminded himself. That means it’s working.  
Everything hurt, hurt, hurt. There was pain, and he couldn’t breathe. He squeezed shut his eyes and waited.

And then he was thrust up and he felt cool air burn into his face as he processed the fact that two strong arms had just lifted him out of the water and were holding him to their chest.

“What,” said Technoblade, breathing heavily, “the fuck.”

*

Tommy could feel something heavy, warm and soft wrapped around him, contrasting his soaked clothes. He could feel himself being carried, his face pressed against somebody’s chest.   
He didn’t want to wake up.  
Everything was so bright, and so overwhelming.   
He let himself descend into the darkness again.

*

Technoblade sat down on the sofa, Tommy still in his arms. The young boy had quickly passed out after he had been lifted out of the water, and so he had tucked him into his cloak and carried him to his house.  
He had had to walk the entire way, for fear of waking Tommy up using the trident, but now he was back at home, and he he tugged his crown off of his head and with great hesitation, his mask as well.  
He knew it would be a while before Tommy woke up, but was aware that he was a light sleeper, so he tugged his long pink hair out of his tight braid and closed his eyes.

*

Technoblade looked a lot less threatening like this. Tommy tugged the cloak more over his body, shivering.  
His older brother was still wearing armour, but his crown had been placed carefully on a tea table nearby, along with his mask. His long pink hair was splayed out behind him as he slept, slightly curled at the ends from the braid it was subjected to each day.

Tommy closed his eyes again. He wanted to be back in the safe confines of the sea. 

He wanted to leave. 

Technoblade couldn’t stop him from leaving if he had already left, right? 

He would’ve done it himself. Used an old blunt sword or a coil of rope - but Techno’s arms were around him. He couldn’t move - and he was comfortable and warm in his older brother’s arms.

He noticed the tears running down his face from his eyes.  
Then he looked back up at Technoblade, who’s own eyes were open.

“Who do I have to kill?” he asked flatly.

*

The screen Technoblade’s communicator lit up the dark room. He typed in a brief message and left the room.

/msg Tubbo we need to talk

*

Tubbo was curled in on himself. His desk chair wasn’t particularly comfortable, but there was nothing else in his office he could sleep on, and he knew there was a large chance Quackity was outside, ready to confront him.

He didn’t want help. Who cared if he would lock himself inside his office when he had major panic attacks? He was seventeen, and president. It was probably the normal response. 

The screen of his communicator lit up the dim room, greenish light projecting onto Tubbo’s face as he raised it up with a shaking hand.

Technoblade whispered to you: we need to talk

The world was blurry. He typed.  
/msg Technoblade okayd wherea nd when 

*

Technoblade frowned. 

/msg Tubbo spellings a bit rusty, you okay or is the dyslexia acting up?

Of course, he couldn’t judge. Memories of stripping every log somewhere when he’d forgotten to take his meds popped up, and he suppressed a laugh.

A message popped up. 

Tubbo whispered to you: when abd whrer

/msg Tubbo tomorrow, logstedshire.

*

Tubbo blinked. 

/msg Technoblade why lodstwdshire   
/msg Technoblade thad where Tomny live

He missed Tommy.  
Tubbo swallowed and looked back at the communicator.

Technoblade whispered to you: that’s what we need to talk about.


	2. Chapter 2

Tubbo looked terrible.  
Technoblade realised with a jolt that Tubbo definitely wasn’t as uncaring about the exile as Tommy seemed to think.   
His hair was combed and he wore a suit, but he was pale and his eyebags were prominent. He kept his puffy eyes glued to the floor and flinched at any movement.

“Why would you ask to meet here?” Tubbo asked flatly. “If Dream sees me here I don’t know what he’ll do.” 

“I’m not allowed in L’manburg, and I don’t want you to know where my base is until I trust you. It was obvious.” Techno replied.

“Well, I’m not allowed here, so maybe if we could move somewhere not so... out in the open?” 

“You’re not allowed here?” Techno asked, tilting his head. Tubbo looked at his scruffy shoes.

“Dream said he didn’t want me here until Tommy was ready to see me.” he looked up, hope suddenly gleaming in his eyes. “Where is Tommy?” 

Technoblade let his eyes drift downwards to the sand. “What I’m about to tell you is extremely confidential.” 

The hope in Tubbo’s eyes was immediately replaced with fear. “Is Tommy okay?” he asked, worry glowing in his face.

Technoblade walked into the trees, Tubbo on his heels. “You might want to sit down.” he said.

Tubbo shakily took a seat on a log, and Technoblade sat next to him, swiping his cloak off of the dirty ground.  
“Tommy attempted suicide yesterday.”

There was a thump, and Technoblade turned to see Tubbo passed out on the grass.

“Shit.”

*

When Tubbo woke up, he didn’t know where he was. He could see Technoblade, and vaguely realised that he was lying on a sleeping bag, with Techno’s cloak covering him. The pitter-patter of rain crashes down above them.  
“Technoblade?” 

The older man immediately jumped up and bolted towards him.   
“What happened?” he asked.   
“You passed out.” his best friend’s older brother said hurriedly. “Dream is coming here soon, we have to leave-“   
“Why do we have to leave?” Tubbo asked, panicked.   
“No time to explain.” Technoblade said, pulling him up. “Put the cloak around your shoulders, it’s cold out.” he said briskly, and marched out of the tent, holding Tubbo’s arm.

He fumbled with the clasp on the cape, stumbling to keep up with the taller man. “Shit.” he heard Technoblade curse.

Dream stood in the entrance to the wooden walls, the ominous mask covering all facial features. His hood was pulled up, only a few tufts of blonde hair poking out.  
“What are you doing here, Mr. President?” he asked, his tone threatening. 

Technoblade stepped in front of him, moving his hand from Tubbo’s arm to the weapons strapped to his belt.  
“Don’t worry, Dream. He’s with me.”

“That only makes me worry more, Blade.” Dream said, stepping up to Technoblade.   
They were face to face. Techno gripped his sword and looked at his enemy.

“I’ll ask again. What are you doing here?” 

“Tubbo, run.” Technoblade said warningly.  
“Blade...” Dream hissed. “There will be consequences for this.”

Tubbo was frozen.   
“Tubbo, run!” Technoblade screamed, and there was the clash of swords when Tubbo screamed.  
“Run!” 

“Do you want Tommy to die, Tubbo?” 

Techno laughed - a harsh, cold laugh. “You don’t even know where Tommy is.” he said flatly, and grabbed Tubbo.  
“NO!” Dream screamed, but Techno had already snatched up his trident, grabbing hold of Tubbo, and threw himself and the president into the air.

***

Tubbo held on tightly, trying not to shake.   
“We need to get to a lake, or the sea.” he heard Technoblade say. “Dream will be issuing the command to stop the rain any second now.” 

Technoblade threw the trident again, and all of a sudden they were in a small lake. The older man had clearly planned something just in case, because the amount of small ponds and lakes around the plains biome made Tubbo’s head spin.

He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to remain calm as they headed into colder territory, this time by lake instead of rain.  
Tubbo could hear Techno mumbling to himself, unaware that Tubbo could hear him.  
“Should I even be... no, no, he’s as scared of Dream as I am... not as much as tommy. i want to kill him, god, can’t, blood for the blood god, blood for the blood god, shut the fuck up, shut up.”

They landed for what seemed like the last time, and Technoblade held tightly onto Tubbo, who seemed to be drifting in and out of consciousness.

He was half holding the younger man now, as they walked through the snow. He didn’t know if he could trust him. But.   
Tommy trusted him. And although Tommy was stupid, he’d known Tubbo for way longer than Technoblade had.

Technoblade threw open the door and bolted it shut behind them, only to find Tommy standing next to the potion stand. 

“I knew you’d do something risky.” he said triumphantly, Technoblade looking in awe at the multiple potions he’d brewed in his absence.   
“Well, you were right.” Technoblade said flatly, and thrust Tubbo at him. “Potion of healing?”

Tommy caught his friend, looking at his glazed over eyes and feeling his forehead. “Definitely. How’d he get like this?” 

“Probably shock, but we were in freezing water when tridenting away. Help him while I get gear ready?”

Tommy tensed. “Techno, what the fuck did you do?” 

“Tommy, please, you have to treat him and I have to get you two out of sight as quickly as possible. Dream is coming.” Technoblade replied urgently as he searched through chests.

Tommy froze, arms tightening around Tubbo. “What?”

“Tommy, please. He’s coming.”  
“You said you wouldn’t let him near me!” Tommy said, his voice trembling.   
Technoblade pulled at his hair. “Yes, and I have to hide you! But we can’t do that if Tubbo - and you, for that matter - are sick!”

Toys facial expression changed. He was pale and his lip trembled, but he stared up at Technoblade.  
“Okay.”


End file.
